At the top of Music Row in Nashville, Tennessee is a very controversial statue.
Now, Nashville is very proudly in the Bible Belt. Indeed, they claim to be the belt buckle of it! The Southern Baptist Convention is headquartered there, in a skyscraper that occupies an entire city block. Other denominations are also headquartered there.
And to say that this statue is “controversial” — is an understatement. You would frequently see “prayer warriors” surrounding it - and praying that it be demolished.
My lady once remarked, “That sculptor is gay.”
“Oh, really?” I replied. “What, is it in the newspaper or something?”
“No,” she said. “Look at the details in the statues. The men’s penises are rendered in exquisite, loving detail. But the women have no coochies.” Yeah, she used the word coochie.
And she was right. The women’s crotches are as smooth as a Barbie doll’s. Some months later, there was an article in the paper about one of the sculptor’s new projects. And yep, he’s out of the closet. Gay and proud.
That woman was amazing. She always pegged people perfectly.
I worked right next door to this thing. And used it as a lens test.
You see, sunlight on metal is the most brutal test to which you can put a lens. It is also the most brutal test to which you can put a digital sensor - which was the reason I continued shooting film after everyone I knew had gone digital: the sensors just weren’t there yet. So, every time I bought a new lens, I’d take my camera to work and shoot this statue from the employee parking lot after work.
I had just maxxed out my credit card on a new Nikon D3 - the first digital camera that met my exacting standards. I bought it during my lunch hour. And, after work, I set up my tripod in the employee parking lot and took yet another shot of Musica with my medium telephoto. To test the digital sensor, you know. I’d already tested the lens with my film camera.
And when I got home and loaded this photo into my computer, my heart sank as I realized that I would never use my beloved Hasselblad again. Ever. The Nikon was clearer, and sharper.
Yes, a full-frame 35mm camera with its Nikkor lens was sharper than a medium-format Hasselblad with those legendary Zeiss lenses! That is how good Nikon lenses are, and why I won’t use anything else.
Through years of shooting this statue with various camera and lenses, this is the best shot I ever took of it. I sold the Hassie at the next local swap meet, and am still shooting that now-ancient D3.
What? No vajay-jays!? That's fraud! He would be doing time but for the statue of limitations. xD